Julian Treasure gave a Ted Talk called, “How to speak so that people want to listen.” In this talk, he gives a list of seven things you should avoid when speaking. They are:
- Gossip
- Judging
- Negativity
- Complaining
- Excuses
- Lying
- Dogmatism
When I heard the list, I smiled and thought to myself, where have I heard this before? (spoiler: it’s in the Bible!)
James chapter 3 reminds us just how unruly our tongues can be, and that if we are not careful our words can do great harm.
Proverbs 15: 4 says, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”
Let’s look at the Biblical reasons that we ought to avoid the seven things on Julian Treasure’s list.
Gossip
Talking about people behind their backs is rarely a good idea. The one exception is when you have something positive to say. If you can’t say something nice, say nothing!
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Proverbs 11:13
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 16:28
Judging
Romans 3:23 reminds us that we all fall short of God’s perfect standard. God alone is qualified to judge.
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.
For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?”
Mathew 7: 1-3
You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things.
And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things.
Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God’s judgment when you do the same things?
Romans 2:1-3
Negativity
A negative attitude is toxic. Negativity drags people down.
As Christians we always have a reason to be positive, because the trials of this life are nothing compared to the glory that awaits us (Romans 8:18)!
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 4:4
Always be joyful.
Never stop praying.
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
I Thessalonians 5:16 – 18
Complaining
If you’re complaining, you’re probably focused on the wrong thing. You can complain that you’re stuck in traffic, or you can be grateful that you own a car. You can whine about needing to wear glasses, or you can appreciate the amazing gift of sight.
Shift your focus to the good things, and watch what happens. You’ll complain less, and smile more.
Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.
Philippians 2:14-15
He comes to say that all are guilty for all the sin they have done and all the sinful things these sinners have spoken against God.
These men complain and are never happy with anything. They let their desires lead them into sin. When they talk about themselves, they make it sound as if they are great people. They show respect to people only to get something out of them.
Jude 1:15-16
Excuses
To make excuses is to abdicate responsibility. Never cast blame that you deserve onto someone or something else. Take responsibility for your actions.
[Adam] replied, “The woman you gave to be with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.”
So the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:12-13
Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.
Proverbs 24:12
Lying
The Bible has a lot to say about lies and truth. God is Truth. He cannot lie (Numbers 23:19 , Titus 1:2, Hebrews 6:18). We can trust in His promises.
The Devil is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).
We must strive to speak only truth.
So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.
Ephesians 4:25
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Proverbs 12:22
Dogmatism
Actually, sometimes, we should be dogmatic! When it comes to truth, we should stand firm, and never waver or compromise.
Where we should avoid dogmatism is in matters of opinion, or when we are uncertain about the truth. Dogmatism often stems from pride; from our need to be right. Be humble, and be open to the opinions of others.
Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Colossians 4:6
Stop acting so proud and haughty! Don’t speak with such arrogance! For the Lord is a God who knows what you have done; he will judge your actions.
I Samuel 2:3
I don’t know how Julian Treasure came up with his list of seven things to avoid when speaking, but his advice is sound because it lines up with Biblical principles.
I challenge you to pick out at least a couple of things on the list, and make a commitment to eliminate them from your speech.
